Description: One of the few things that I like about college is that I can fuck around without having to explain myself at the parent-teacher conference. That's kind of sad. A good thing about going to an engineering school specifically is that humanities is not taken very seriously. After having written the most interesting works I had ever done in the previous semester for Creative Writing I because I didn't have to worry about the professor warning my parents about my mental instability, I ended up with a new professor for Creative Writing II. I was worried this professor would not accept my style of writing with the warm reception that my previous professor did. I decided to make my first essay a test to see if I could write fun bullshit essays for the rest of the semester. The test was a success. I got an A-. The professor even found it amusing. I don't really like to talk about my work in a positive light but it felt cool when he was laughing when he brought up my essay, saying it was funny. It's good anecdotal evidence of my jackassery. I just wish I knew better English. A lot of these things were really difficult to put into words and into sentences. I hope they suffice. Well, that's enough back story. Here's my essay and what a bullshit essay it is!

Mark Castillo
EN1204
2/7/07
Essay 1 – The Night at the Concert

Topic: Aristotle argues that action in accordance with virtue is the aim of a good life and also produces happiness. Discuss this idea, using examples from your own or others' experiences.

Action in accordance with virtue is not necessarily the aim of a good life nor may it necessarily produce happiness. In reality, socially acceptable way of living may not lead to a good life while other paths will. Living a life with sincerity of virtue is encouraged by society and for that reason; it often yields good results including happiness. However, since it is encouraged by a non-omnipotent third-party, a person doesn’t need to be sincere in virtue, so long as his or her actions suggest it. Being genuinely virtuous has often resulted in hopelessness, despair, and even death (e.g. Jesus). Actions that are nowhere near virtuous can produce happiness and even tear-inducing laughter. Many of these paths have been explored in history, film, and literature but one particular path has been demonstrated by my own self.

My friends and I had gone to see a concert one day. One of my friends, who will from now on be referred to as “Bob”, was down and out because a girl he was partial to could not make it. Though a concert would cheer someone up anyway even with the absence of the said girl. We went to meet up to eat at a Thai restaurant. I had gotten there early so I went to check out the venue. As I was walking there, pair of girls was walking towards me and eventually past me. They bore a striking resemblance to two girls I’d seen in photographs of a creepy girl on Facebook who attended a previous concert with us. My friends, including Bob, were looking at those photographs had acknowledged back then that one of them was pretty. I thought to myself, even under the unlikely possibility that those were the same people; one of them was quite pretty. Seeing that the place was empty and it was almost time for everyone to meet up, I went back to the restaurant. After eating, we headed to the venue to relax and wait for the concert to start. On our way there, I spotted the same girls browsing American Apparel and the possibility of them being the girls from the photographs piqued my curiosity again but it was quickly forgotten like the many other things that manage to grab my attention.

We were enjoying ourselves at the concert. As the opening bands progressed, we moved closer and closer to the center. The two girls were actually at the concert. At some point, my down and out friend seemed to find solace in that girl because he managed to engage in spirited conversation about bands and music. To his surprise, he had previously attended some of the same concerts as her. During that time, I was still trying to make sure that was the same girl in the pictures, to hopefully interrupt and bring it up but I never seriously aimed to do so because she looked even better in real life than in the pictures and I’m a timid person. My other friends were upset with what they described as his embellishing of stories and for giving himself credit for things he didn’t do. I tried to maintain a subjective view regarding the things they were talking about, because I did not know of the things Bob was talking about. Unlike my upset friends, I did not go to those concerts to be able to know myself if what he was saying was true or not.

The conversation seemed to be going well, when I was asked to yell out something embarrassing and untrue yet potentially very amusing. I was reluctant to do it at first because it would have annoyed Bob a lot and I would’ve ruined a good thing. When I really thought about it, I began to think to myself that she was pretty stunning and I became a bit jealous so I decided to do it but only when I felt she wasn’t paying much attention. There was a lot of noise going on in the background and people around us so I thought there would be a good chance of her not catching what I would say. When I thought she wasn’t talking to Bob, I yelled out, “Where’s your girlfriend?!” As though after having received swift strike to the genitals, I could see the shock in Bob but I didn’t pay much thought because I was fairly confident she did not hear. I had honestly enjoyed the rest of the concert thinking that. While the band we came to see was actually playing, they had brought some beer and Bob’s jacket was conveniently adjacent to one of the Robitussin-looking bottles. I poured a little beer on his sleeve because I was pretty sure that the smell of beer on a child’s jacket would likely stir feelings of pride in a parent, especially after getting home fairly late. As the concert progressed, the bassist managed to create a puddle of beer after kicking over the same bottle. What followed was a terrible ‘accident’ that left Bob’s jacket doused with a little more beer.

After the concert, I learned of the consequences of my actions. Things were going swimmingly. I learned they shared musical taste. They even had the same nickname. She was even slated to attend Columbia in the following academic year. She was quite the catch. She apparently did hear my yell and she asked Bob if he did, in fact, have a girlfriend, to which he replied in denial. Whether or not she believed him was not openly said but demonstrated by her complete ignorance of his existence soon after he told her that he didn’t have a girlfriend. Upon learning my malicious act had the disastrous effect of destroying a potential relationship between Bob and a girl who not only shared interests with him and was smart enough to make it to Columbia but very hot, I responded with a powerful burst of laughter that caused me to start crying. I could not remember any time I was happier with an achievement of my own. It felt good to have destroyed what could have been beautiful relationship with a mere question. I continued to laugh about it during the days to come. My actions that day had absolutely no virtue in them but life felt good and I was happy. It was a demonstration of one of the various paths of life, contradictory to Aristotle’s belief.